…where my trust is without borders

i mean, obviously…

On Easter evening, I was feeling a little homesick and hadn’t really talked to anyone from home for 2 ½ weeks, so I decided to surprise Adam with an Easter-morning phone call (for those of you who read this who don’t know me in real life, (A) you rock, and (B) Adam=boyfriend/best friend combo. It’s quite handy, really). Anyways. I was talking to him and I mentioned that it’s looking less and less likely that I’ll be living abroad.  I think he kind of laughed, but the 14 minutes my 6000 shillings didn’t really give me time to fully explain myself.

I’ve reached a point where I’m done being the stereotypical only-child pre-law honors student and making detailed 5, 10, and 15-year plans.  I have no idea where I’ll be even in 2 or 3 years, so why should I think a 10-year plan will be of use?  I’ve learned to just be concerned with the trajectory I’m on, maybe having a plan for the next year and a vague idea of the next 3 years. 

As I said, it’s looking less and less likely I’ll be living abroad, but this is mainly because it’s looking less and less likely that living abroad is where I’ll be put to the best use and do the most good.  Maybe I will live abroad, maybe I’ll go abroad often with my home base in the US, maybe I’ll never leave the US again once I get back. Who knows? Only God. And one thing I’ve learned about God is that He will lead you where He wants you to go-but He usually won’t clue you in as to where exactly that is before you need to know. 

For example: 13 months ago, I had no freaking clue that I’d be living in Africa for 4 months before I would enter my 3rd year at University.  In fact, I was sure that I would never be able to afford studying abroad.  But God leads and God provides, and I didn’t need to know yet what I’d be doing in the Spring of 2014. 

Newsflash: God doesn’t require us to have a set-in-stone 4-year-plan.  In fact, I think it’s a safe bet to say He prefers we don’t.  Because it’s a lot easier to say “yes” to His leading that doesn’t fit into our 5-year-plan if we don’t have one we’re committed to in the first place.  In my life, at least, the verse in Proverbs has definitely proven true, the one that says;

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

But it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.”

-Proverbs 19:21

So, if you are reading this and you are anything like me, I pray that you come to a place of trust with the LORD that you are willing to go wherever He leads.  May you learn to loosen the reins of the façade of control and come to a place of admitting that you don’t know everything that’s going to happen in the next 5 years.  May you accept this with the knowledge that God does know, that He has you in the palm of His hand, and that He is wanting to lead you to grow into the person He created you to be, which is only reached when you have utterly abandoned everything to Him. And may this abandonment lead you to a state of His deep, deep peace.


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