what can I say
this trip has broken me down
down to my bones and my tears.
my muscles that held me up vanished,
my skin that protected me from the outside world evaporated
something about Spain
and God breaking me.
roaming as I wish
Abba breaking my heart again and again:
by my loved ones back home
by the oppression we’re living and working among
by the restrictions of communication
by my own body betraying me
and by teammates I can’t get away from.
Lord I’m tired, so tired of walking
and all I want is to be alone
in our secret place
where I can sing of Your love forever
and You can wrap me up in Your arms.
where I feel beloved
things I have not felt in several weeks’ time.
“Home” has never been a house for me.
maybe this is growing up,
but I’m learning more what a home is:
a safe place.
home has become a sweet word
that my heart secretly longs for.